The Way is Made By Walking

“wanderer, there is no road

The way is made by walking”

Antonia Machado

What would it mean to wander and allow yourself to feel the vulnerability of being a bit lost or disoriented? What new awareness might break in from this softened place?

These are thoughts presented this week in our online Advent retreat being offered by Abbey of the Arts and Cristine Valters Paintner.

It’s been a crazy week, and I haven’t really had time to sit and reflect on the subject of “wandering for the love of God” until this morning. But that’s been my call for over 20 years now.

Like Abram of old, my call was to “leave my father’s house and go to a place I know not of.” My wandering for the love of God began in 1990, with the death of my father and my second divorce.  

Dara Mallow of the Abbey of the Arts community, writes of "peregrinatio", "the idea of a sacred journey in the Celtic Christian tradition, with no other destination other than 'seeking one's place of resurrection'." It seems my heart has pretty much found its resting place for now, and the call to wander has been silenced within me. The call within me now seems to be of stillness.

But I have written a number of poems over the years that have reflected the wandering of my soul. This one written in 2010 seems appropriate for this season.

Following the Star

Do you see it?

There,

Right there,

High in the sky…

there it is!

The Star!

I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

So bright,

                    so beautiful,

                               so compelling…

I find myself longing to follow that Star.

What?

You say I’m crazy?

Maybe…may be

But,

but what if,

what if following that Star just might lead me home?

What if following that star

just might lead me to the place of peace I long for?

My heart and mind are filled with desperate “what ifs”

that make staying here, in this place,

next to impossible.

So, here I am

like a crazy fool

packing my bags

loading this camel

and heading out over this desert,

into this broad expanse of wasteland.

I have to go

I’m compelled to follow

The Star calls me home.

Sheila Conner

September 18, 2010

By the way, never trust your journey to a guide who's afraid of getting lost. That's a quote from someone else, but I don't know who. I've made it my own.