Friday, January 6, 2017

So, Sheila - What's Your Passion?

"So, what's your passion Sheila? What drives you? What gets you up in the morning?"
Someone asked me that question a couple of weeks ago over a cup of coffee - and it took me by surprise. It's been a while since I considered my "passion". And contemplative introverts don't usually answer those kinds of questions very quickly. So, I've been pondering that question for days now.
Years ago, I would have quickly answered, "Loving God and following Jesus." But that doesn't "feel" complete anymore. It's a worthy goal, but it no longer works for me. So how do I answer that question? Yeah, I love my kids, and I enjoy teaching yoga and painting. I enjoy learning...but passion?
This morning as I was reading, a couple of words by the author triggered me to consider my "passion" again, so here's how I would answer her question this morning"
My passion is still the spiritual journey: the struggle to purify my motivations and my intentions; working, working, working to keep my heart open; facing my fears and walking through them; struggling toward hope and beauty, pursuing truth and integrity in my inmost being, and attempting to love myself and the other.
That is my passion. And today, I might add another part (seems the journey is always expanding). Today I feel an invitation to at least begin considering those who Jesus consistently honored: the least, the outsider, the foreigner, the "sinner", the handicapped, the poor, the helpless and hopeless. Truth be told, I'm not sure what this looks like for me.
But that's something I am also continually working to do - to let go of my expectations of what kind of person I'll be if and when any of this is ever realized, and to let go of how I will look, how I'll walk this part out. The hunger for it is what keeps me going.
At least today.